Missing? One of my life stories…

Right now I feel very empty. I feel as if I’m missing something. Earlier this weekend I was listening to some “old school” music and reminiscing about the old days. My life used to be so exciting. Where has my life gone? I’ve always thought that once I was older I would have more of an idea of where I was going in life. I was wrong…it’s the complete opposite. When I was younger, I knew exactly what I wanted, where I was going to be, and what my goals were. Since then, my life has changed. I’ve been in the military, been married and divorced and have a wonderful daughter. I am now a single parent (which I would have never thought was going to happen). I always thought I would have a lot of friends when I was older, be able to do anything I wanted, and live a prosperous life. So far, the only thing I have that I thought I’d have is a child…just never thought I’d be doing it alone. When I started college right after high school, my biggest goals in life were to have a family and a good career. I wanted a good career only because I wanted to be able to provide for my future family.

Well, when I was a sophomore in college I fell behind in a couple classes so the next semester I decided to “catch up”. I took 22 credit hours worth of classes, worked full time at Circuit City, and worked part time at a coffee house. That just about killed me. I ended up not sleeping at all for over 6 days because of my work load. After the 3rd day of no sleep at all, I was a zombie. I went through all the motions, but had no idea what I was really doing. I’d drive to work or school and not even remember how I got there. It was like I was constantly dreaming. All of this was getting to me, mentally and physically. Not to mention I had a roommate at the time that stole from me and sold drugs out of my house. All the stress was unbearable. I kicked that roommate out after I had figured everything out. My other roommate at the time had up and left to California without telling anyone, even his own mother. To this day I still consider him a great friend. Anyway, back to the POS that I had to kick out. Two weeks after I kicked him out, I got a phone call from his older brother who had just gotten released from prison for assault and battery. He threatened me because he thought that I was the one that reported his brother (my ex-roommate) to the police. I looked in the newspaper to find my old roommate under “Dayton’s 10 most wanted”. After that, I was getting harassed by many people. My house was vandalized, broken windows, and shot up once. I wasn’t about to stick around much longer, if I had, I doubt I’d be alive now. So…I joined the military. Hoping I’d be able to finish college and get my life back on track…I was wrong again. So now, here I am, a single parent, separated from the military, feeling as if I’m starting my life over again from scratch. I feel empty and alone, as if something’s missing. All I ever wanted was a happy family of my own and and my life kept giving me detours. I am now in the process of getting my schooling back on track. As for the family part…I have my daughter and I am also very much in love with someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So here’s to getting my life back on track and to where I thought it’d be when I was younger.