Alone

So what happened to me?  I think back to when I did have ‘real’ friends…and it must have been at least 10 years ago.  I’ve never felt more alone than I do now.  Is it my fault?  Do I run people away?  Am I afraid of letting people in?  I don’t like the feeling of being so alone, but am I getting used to it?  I’ve become a hermit and I don’t even know how it happened.  My biggest fear in life is not death nor speaking in public…it’s growing old alone.